When I posted Through a Glass Darkly this morning Dafter suggested I do an Andy Warhol style treatment to my image of a half dead tree.

Well this isn't excatly a Warholism, but it is something along the lines Dafter suggested.

So I may not be an Andy Warhol, but as I recall from my days working amid art students
Andy Warhol has hairy nostrils
whilst I can assure you, I don't.

Sometimes it is hard for us to see beyond the present
It may even be difficult to see the present
We may find ourselves lost
With a distorted vision of life
Living in a distorted world
Viewing the world through a dark glass...

I don't seem to have much to blog about. Being on the sick and the weather being so crap means I haven't been anywhere or done anything, which only leaves me really and believe me you don't want to go there!

Soooooo.....

Hope you folks out there in Blogland are all having a good Sunday? Mine seems to be an exceptionally lazy one so far and I see no reason for that to change now.

I dozed off listening to the Archers Omnibus this morning and decided if I was that tired I may as well go back to bed. Must’ve been pretty tired because it wasn’t long before I was snoring like a good ‘un and sending streams of zeds to the ceiling!

So four hours later freshly showered and dressed I popped in here to check mail/blogs etc. and low and behold I haven’t moved...

Well we’re all deserving of a lazy Sunday occasionally aren’t we?

What's everyone else doing today?

I've spent a lot of time thinking about things recently, mostly in the cause of self-analysis through the CBT I'm undergoing. Some of that thinking has brought special memories to mind and I thought I’d share one with you.

Back last September a friend of mine was starting a project that required a few specific images and I offered to help. One of those required images was a bridge and we decided to use the Second Severn Crossing. I suggested taking a series of photographs as the daylight failed, giving a range from full day to night. This is the image that was finally chosen:

So what’s so special about the memory? Well it was a time when I could see a future mapped out ahead of me. A time when there were things to look forward to. A time before I became ‘lost’ in my world of confusion. A brief period when I was happy and healthy and felt I had something to live for.

They say one in ten of us suffer some form of mental illness in our lives; I wonder whether that statistic is maybe a little on the low side...

One of the strategies I have used to try and clear my thoughts recently has been visiting desolate or unfrequented places. These places have their own healing effect and I find the solitude useful as it allows me to concentrate on what is happening within.

Some of the places I have visited have been stunningly beautiful, at least to my eyes. I have occasionally found myself depressed though that even amid beauty there is destruction of life; death.

This small shark (dogfish) was complete. Presumably caught by some unthinking fisherman, the animal had been tossed onto the pebbles at the top of a deserted beach where it had died and desiccated. How sad.

Following up on Sunday's Questions, Questions post about 'artistically' treated images, here are a couple of the images I thought I might try:

This one is the River Usk, M4 crossing

This one was taken at the Monsanto Chemical plant in Newport

I have a couple of buildings/cityscapes in mind too, but haven't got around to doing anything with those as yet.

Click an image for a larger view in a pop-up window.

Lost at sea
Like the Marie Celeste
A ghost ship
The last crew member has abandoned and is floating face down in the water

Drowned
Dead
Released from his private hell
At rest

Such an attractive thought
How I long to be free
How I long to be with her
How I long for the pain to stop

The waves crash over me
The undertow sucks me down
My worthless body is pummelled on the rocky bottom
It doesn’t matter

My eyes seek the light far above
While my ears pop and my throat gags
My chest bursts and I suck cold water into my lungs
Death comes quick to me now

The light fades like the erratic beating of my broken heart
Eyes close, bubbles rising from my mouth and nose
My putrid being food for the bottom dwellers
Crabs, worms, scavengers

Existence over
At peace at last
Pain free finally
Thank God it is over

I've been thinking about the possibility of selling some of my photographs at a local art sale: 'Art on the Railings' in Chepstow.

Some of my landscapes have attracted a bit of interest, but I thought I might try moving some of the abstract stuff too; hence the reason behind this post.

Years ago I spent hours in the darkroom treating images to get the effect I desired. These days I tend to work digitally and don't have access to a darkroom of my own anymore.

So anyway, I'd like your opinion on the two following 'treatments'. I chose the subject matter to be fairly neutral in an attempt not to influence...

Image 1

Image 2

Honest opinions please: do either of these images interest you?

Trolly's comment on my More Dead Sheep post got me thinking about T.S.Elliot and his Whispers of Immortality.

I rather like the way Elliot discusses his fellow poets and their attitudes to life and death:

WEBSTER was much possessed by death
And saw the skull beneath the skin;
And breastless creatures under ground
Leaned backward with a lipless grin.

Daffodil bulbs instead of balls
Stared from the sockets of the eyes!
He knew that thought clings round dead limbs
Tightening its lusts and luxuries.

Donne, I suppose, was such another
Who found no substitute for sense,
To seize and clutch and penetrate;
Expert beyond experience,

He knew the anguish of the marrow
The ague of the skeleton;
No contact possible to flesh
Allayed the fever of the bone.

Clever stuff. Wish I'd written those words...

I'm not which of Elliot's works is my favourite, though I am fond of The Hippopotamus and Sweeney among the Nightingales.

Seems to me I'm seeing dead sheep wherever I go these days; what's that all about then?

Maybe it's the time of year
Maybe it's the time of man,
The clock's run out for this 'ere ewe though...

I can't help wondering how the bricks got there, can ewe?

Clicking the images will open a larger view in a pop-up window.

I took my camera to Chepstow Castle recently for a wander around and thought I'd share a few of my images.

The imposing frontage at Chepstow.

Chepstow Castle is set high upon cliffs above the River Wye, where it guarded the main river crossing from Southern England into Wales.

Chepstow was one of the first stone castles in the country, built within a few years of the Battle of Hastings (1066), for William fitz Osbern, who had been made Earl of Hereford by William the Conqueror.

The castle was further developed during the first half of the 13th century by the Marshall family, and then later that century by Roger Bigod III, with more modifications made during the Tudor period.

During the Civil War (1642-48) it was twice besieged and fell to Parliamentary cannon. After the war, the defences of the castle were reinforced and remodelled for the use of cannon and muskets. The castle was used as military barracks and as a detention centre for political prisoners, most notably housing Henry Marten who spent 20 years in captivity in the tower that now bears his name.

The castle finally fell into disuse after 1690 when the remaining troops from the garrison were withdrawn.

Clicking any of the images will open a larger version in a pop-up window.

There are two wetlands centres close to me. Both are interesting in their own way, if you happen to be into ponds, birds, wildfowl and the like.

One is on the coast next to some an old coal-fired power station and a sewage plant. I'm told some of the land was contaminated and it has taken years to get it back into a condition where things thrive and thrive they do.

But this post isn't about the wildlife, it's about the industry and Nature's capability to reclaim.

If you were a coot, duck, moorhen, swan or teal, would you want to live next to this?

Fortunately the answer seems to be 'Yes!'

Foxes; it seems we either love 'em or loathe 'em.

To many of us foxes are cute little doggies that have a hard time making a living and deserve all the help they can get.

To others foxes are a manace that should be mangled at birth.

Whatever you believe, a fox is a living breathing thing with a life of its own. As such it deserves the same respect you'd offer to any other living being, in my opinion at least.

Finding this beside a footpath upset me.

Seeing what remained of the rest of the animal upset me a lot more, but I'll spare you that.

It does beg a question though; why do we humans have to be so cruel? If what was desired was the removal of life, why not stop at that? Ripping the creature to pieces was unnecessary and showed a complete lack of respect for life.

I'm a bit stumped. I would love to know what these flowers are, but don't have a clue. They were growing in a fairly damp meadow. Can anyone out there identify please?

It's a funny old world, in case you haven't noticed. Others may not see it the same way, but for me it seems that whenever I'm feeling down in the dumps I see reminders of Death wherever I go.

I took a walk over the fields today, because being out in the countryside always has a cheering effect on my soul.

The Weather Wizards promised us wall to wall sunshine today, but it seems they got it horribly wrong again and instead of bright sunshine it has turned out cloudy, overcast and muggy. Despite the dullness it was nice to be in the fresh air though.

A flock of sheep scattered as I climbed a hill, all bleating and baaing as they ran. The noise subsided and the various sheep stood looking back at me. Then I realised two of the sheep hadn’t moved; a ewe and her lamb.

I looked a little harder and realised the lamb was still bleating quietly and occasionally nudging its mum, who didn’t move at all. Fearing there may be a problem, I walked in their direction. The lamb eventually ran away, but not too far. This is what I found...

There was very little smell, so I'd guess mum hadn't been dead too long. I was surprised by the lack of blood though, although the grass was wet enough to indicate we'd had a drop of rain overnight.

I’ve no idea what got the ewe, but I doubt it was foxes. Something had quite obviously disembowelled the sheep, eaten its fill and left the carcase. One of the mythical big cats we keep hearing about perhaps? Or a large dog? Smaller animals and crows had probably done the rest.

Whatever, the lamb was obviously an orphan and feeling sorry for itself; I kind of knew exactly how it was feeling. Alone, lost, frightened, sad...

So yes, it’s a funny old world. I’m still feeling down in the dumps, but my depression will pass in time. The lamb's loss is permanent.

Hope I haven't spoiled your Sunday dinner...

No-one could have guessed she would be so strong.

In an effort to cheer myself up a bit I thought I'd try a little humour...

Anyone fancy a quick screw this Sunday morning?

So Saturday is here again...

Normally I’d feel a distinct lift in my spirit, it being the weekend and me not having to be in work. This morning however I feel really grim.

The truth is I’ve not had a good couple of months. Things have happened in my life and I’ve felt depressed, down, low and generally pretty shitty since March. I’m not going to go into the details here, but I think I hit the lowest point a few weeks ago when the idea of just putting an end to it all seemed to occupy rather a lot of my thoughts. Needless to say, I didn’t do it.

I’ve suffered bouts of depression from time to time in the past and always come out the other side eventually, picked myself up and carried on with life. This time things seem rather more loathe to heal and this low just goes on and on.

I really thought I’d made progress this past week or so, then for no real reason I spiralled down into the depths again yesterday and took solace in my old mate: the bottle. Big mistake...

So here I am this morning still feeling depressed and unloved and suffering a massive hang-over to boot. It feels like this Saturday is going to be a very long day to me...

Hope you folks out there have a good one.