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Freedom of speech?
@ Wednesday, 30. Apr, 2008 – 07:30:04
Here's a question for those of you living in the UK; do we live in a country where freedom of speech is allowed, or not?
I'd like you to answer to the above question...
Then, if it's not asking too much, I'd be interested to hear your views on this particular story on the BBC News website... and finally... has your answer to my original question changed?
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Big breasted beauties
@ Wednesday, 30. Apr, 2008 – 06:59:03
Wednesday morning has dawned grey and dismal here in Wales... and I have absolutely nothing interesting to say... I know, nothing new there!

So anyway, I thought maybe I'd share a couple of images of a slightly brighter morning...
...and a couple of beautiful birds.

Well swans do have large breasts don't they?
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Depression
@ Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 – 06:07:05
Last week I was asked "how do you feel when you feel depressed?"
...well what a stupid question? I feel depressed, that's how I feel!
Or maybe it isn't such a stupid question...
Maybe it was the questioner's inability to use the English language that was a tad stupid?
Anyway in a more rational moment I started thinking about how I felt... I don't mean the symptomatic sort of feelings... the shaking, the anxiety, the sweating, etc. but the all encompassing feeling...
Depression is debilitating... so how would I describe that feeling of debilitation for me?
Hmmmmm....
And then I started thinking laterally... in images... and this is how I feel when depression strikes...
I'm bound in chains... they're not always in focus... they're often distorted... but the chains are there nevertheless... and they weigh me down... drag me down... and I'm no Houdini... I can't just throw them off... they smother me... and I can't escape them...
So that's it... Depression... to me depression is living a life in chains...
Now I know what to say next time...
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Bored with this now....
@ Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 – 04:05:17
Floating around Blogland in the wee small hours... no-one to play with...

Bloody knackered... so why aren't I asleep?

Ho hum...
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Chepstow Castle
@ Monday, 28. Apr, 2008 – 09:17:31
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Bridge over the River Wye...
@ Monday, 28. Apr, 2008 – 08:32:31
Good morning bloggers.

Yes I know it's Monday and most of you are not feeling much like it today, but the sun is shining and the skies are blue...

I know I seem to have posted images of this bridge several times in the past... but I think this is the first time from the English side of the river...
...this is the sight that greets you arriving at the bottom of Tutshill, Chepstow.
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Spring flowers
@ Sunday, 27. Apr, 2008 – 10:57:41
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Sunday morning
@ Sunday, 27. Apr, 2008 – 08:44:10
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All things brightand beautiful...
@ Saturday, 26. Apr, 2008 – 09:40:31
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Thank you friends...
@ Friday, 25. Apr, 2008 – 20:34:53
Thank you people... you're stars one and all.
The support I've received from friends here this last few days has helped me tremendously... you are a bunch of very beautiful people.

I have little to offer in return...
...while you are like the butterfly.

I'm really tired this evening and will be heading for a quiet corner shortly. Hope to see you all tomorrow.
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Life in old boots
@ Friday, 25. Apr, 2008 – 17:17:50
The day's business is over... I'm delighted to have it out of the way... but not yet in the mood to share things from the day.
Completely off topic then and before you just bin things out of hand... stop and consider whether your actions are justified...

They always say there's many a good tune played on an old fiddle don't they... fair enough I suppose... there's always life in the old dog isn't there...
Seems to me there's many a use for an old boot too!

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Another day
@ Friday, 25. Apr, 2008 – 07:23:06
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and good wishes; I really do appreciate them all.
Yesterday's group therapy session probably wasn't as bad as I'd imagined it might be, but it was pretty horrible. Looking around the room at the other depressives and listening to their stories/experiences made me feel worse, not better.
Yes there was commonality between us and of course it's good to know you are not alone. But the sadness demonstrated by the members of the group brought on by the debilitating nature of our common illness was in itself depressing... not a good state of being for a bunch of already depressive types I'd have thought.
As soon as the session was over I was out the door and gone; the "do stay for a cup of tea and a chat" offer didn't appeal at all; I know others obviously felt the same way since I wasn't the only one running away yesterday.
So okay, I conquered the initial fears and turned up to the session. I even tried to engage with the session to some extent... and I will be going to the next one... I'm less certain about the next eight though.
Feeling the need for solitude I followed my usual pattern and ran away to somewhere quiet where I could be alone with my thoughts. For me this is therapy in itself... the ability to lose myself in my own thoughts and just be... it may not always be healthy, but it generally seems to help...
I sat here for hours
Through sunshine and showers
Trying to make sense of all that;
The damp from the grass
Soaked through to my ass
And now I've a pain in my back.The sniff in my nose
From the wet of my clothes
Is thanks to the rain that came down.
A further depression
From my therapy session
Brings a facial expression; a frown.And so to today's ordeal...
Last night was filled with vivid and quite disturbing dreams... a trait I've noticed when my head is particularly troubled. My sleep, such as it was, has left me weary, lethargic and generally sluggish... not an ideal state for a day when I know I'll need my wits about me.

Today's Friday, today's Friday, Friday is fish
Thursday is shepherd's pie
Wednesday is roast beef
Tuesday is soup
Monday is washing day
Is everybody happy?
Not yet.... but maybe one day.... -
I hate being like this....
@ Thursday, 24. Apr, 2008 – 09:13:37
We all have bad days.... they are part of everyday life. Most people just push them aside and get on with things though... how I wish I could do that. For me a bad day can last anywhere between a couple of hours and a couple of weeks...
I'm in the middle of a major wobble right now... and it is really getting to me... I hate the feeling of not being able to cope... of not being in control...
Later today I'm due to start a new group therapy thing and I'm dreading it. Dealing with people is something I find very hard to do... dealing with new people is almost impossible for me. It is not just fear of the unknown... or embarrassment... it goes much deeper than that...
I'm already sweating like a pig and my heart is pounding like a tilt-hammer. I really, really don't want to go... non-attendance simply isn't an option though. If I don't go today they'll just keep sending for me...
I admit though, the idea of standing up in an open forum and saying... "My name is John and I'm fucking crazy" doesn't exactly appeal to me...
To make matters worse I have an appointment tomorrow with my employer... after almost 12 months of absence they want to explore ways they may be able to help me with my issues... I'm dreading this too...
What I want to do is tell the university where it can stuff its job... just setting foot back on campus is likely to set me off again... and that means I'll clam up tighter than a duck's arse and not say a word... just sit there shaking and twitching... a bit more violently than I am already...
Sod's law these two things should happen on consecutive days... I should have managed things better... but that's part of the problem... management... I don't manage things at all... I just let them happen and hope for the best... god knows I can't manage myself let alone anything else....
So I'm sorry if I haven't been around this week and apologise for not answering comments... I'm just having a bad day...
I just want to run away and hide........
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Today's Wednesday
@ Wednesday, 23. Apr, 2008 – 06:36:14
Today's Wednesday, today's Wednesday, Wednesday is roast beef.
Tuesday is soup
Monday is washing day
Is everybody happy?
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Today's Tuesday
@ Tuesday, 22. Apr, 2008 – 08:40:23
Today's Tuesday, today's Tuesday, Tuesday is soup
Monday is washing day
Is everybody happy?Well no, not really....
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God and my right
@ Monday, 21. Apr, 2008 – 16:58:08
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We do things different in Wales
@ Monday, 21. Apr, 2008 – 15:54:36
How many times do you drive down a road these days and see a roundabout decorated with flowers or adverts? It's a fairly common occurrence isn't it?
How about this by way of a variation...
I love this roundabout in Splott (Y Sblot), Cardiff....
Of course you always find some fool driving round and round with a camera trying to take pictures!
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Finally...
@ Monday, 21. Apr, 2008 – 05:46:56
Usky's weekend teaser has a winner and all is revealed in A Little Something for the Weekend.
Thanks to everyone who took part this week and don't forget to call around on Saturday for next week's bit of fun!
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Usky's weekend teaser
@ Sunday, 20. Apr, 2008 – 20:08:11
Well now, what am I to do...
Usky's weekend teaser A Little Something for the Weekend no 54 still hasn't be cracked...
Should I allow it to run on?
Should I put you out of your misery?
It's your game... What do you folks think?
Posts archive for: April, 2008






























