Depression

« Bored with this now.... | Take these chains... »

Depression

by Usksider ^Pro @ Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 – 06:07:05

Last week I was asked "how do you feel when you feel depressed?"

...well what a stupid question? I feel depressed, that's how I feel!

Or maybe it isn't such a stupid question...

Maybe it was the questioner's inability to use the English language that was a tad stupid?

Anyway in a more rational moment I started thinking about how I felt... I don't mean the symptomatic sort of feelings... the shaking, the anxiety, the sweating, etc. but the all encompassing feeling...

Depression is debilitating... so how would I describe that feeling of debilitation for me?

Hmmmmm....

And then I started thinking laterally... in images... and this is how I feel when depression strikes...

I'm bound in chains... they're not always in focus... they're often distorted... but the chains are there nevertheless... and they weigh me down... drag me down... and I'm no Houdini... I can't just throw them off... they smother me... and I can't escape them...

So that's it... Depression... to me depression is living a life in chains...

Now I know what to say next time...
Options:
Tags:
- blog
- depression
- health
- usky

45 Comments to Depression

Hide subcomments

- Munzly
- http://poppycock.blog.co.uk/
- Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 06:16:58
But at least they are rusty, which means they can be broken!

No how about cheering me up with an Usky desktop of the Clifton suspension bridge:

That would be most pleasing - your chains may be rusty but your photography talents are certainly not!
- - Usksider ^Pro
  - http://www.usksider.co.uk
  - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 06:21:47
  I think I can manage that for you Munzly... I'll upload to Webshots shortly.
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- - Usksider ^Pro
  - http://www.usksider.co.uk
  - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 06:40:39
  Your new desktop image is now ready for collections Munzly...
  - - Munzly
    - http://poppycock.blog.co.uk/
    - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 07:15:06
    Many thanks. It looks good.
    
    For somebody like me, with mobility problems, our computer screens are like a window on the world. It's amazing the places I visit that way.
    
    Tell me, do you ever do Steam Railway photos? There must be interesting opportunities for that in some parts of the principality.
    - - Usksider ^Pro
      - http://www.usksider.co.uk
      - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 07:20:27
      I did a batch of steam trains a few years ago... on film though, not digital. I'll have a look and check through my files to see what I can find.
      
      Interestingly there's not much locally in the way of steam... Somerset's not that far away though, so maybe a day out is called for.
      - Reply to comment
      - Permalink
- Tentativeplotfinder
- Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 07:15:51
That's a good description.
- - Usksider ^Pro
  - http://www.usksider.co.uk
  - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 07:23:12
  It seems to work for me... as descriptions go.
  - - Tentativeplotfinder
    - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 07:36:35
    Walls that I can't break down or get over, or let other people break down or get over was a description that worked for me..
    - - Usksider ^Pro
      - http://www.usksider.co.uk
      - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 07:45:05
      Yes, I can see that... thought about walls myself in fact, but wanted something more... I don't know... encompassing?
      - Tentativeplotfinder
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 08:13:08
        
        I can see that!! Treacle (back to food again...) was the other description I've used.
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 08:21:36
        
        Oh now that's good... why didn't I think of that?
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Tentativeplotfinder
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 22:07:31
        
        I was talking about all of this to a friend at lunch time, and she really, really identified with the rusty chains image.
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 22:29:34
        
        Ahhhh.... that's not good
        I'm always sorry to hear there's someone else out there feeling this way....
        Please wish your friend well from old Usky.
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Tentativeplotfinder
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 22:33:06
        
        Will do - she's not feeling that way at the moment, and she's not had a bad bout for some time now, but I've a horrid feeling she may be heading that way again.
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 22:42:27
        
        Well I'll keep my fingers crossed and pray to all things she isn't....
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Tentativeplotfinder
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 22:46:35
        
        That's kind, thank you!
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 22:52:03
        
        I wouldn't wish it on an enemy....
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Tentativeplotfinder
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 22:58:07
        
        Me neither.
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 23:07:41
        
        I didn't for a moment think you would...
        
        Well I guess since I've been up for around 22 hours I ought to try and sleep... Goodnight Ten...
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Tentativeplotfinder
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 23:09:15
        
        Night night, gorgeous, hope you get some sleep tonight.
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Wednesday, 30. Apr, 2008 @ 05:36:47
        
        Managed about five hours last night, so a vast improvement.
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
- la_spice
- Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 07:40:06
Reminded me of the words of that song "Take these chains from my heart and set me free"

As Munzly said rusty ones can be broken - now where's my sledge hammer?
- - Usksider ^Pro
  - http://www.usksider.co.uk
  - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 07:47:00
  Funny you should say that.... see my next post...
  - - la_spice
    - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 07:48:38
    It's not come up yet!
    - - Usksider ^Pro
      - http://www.usksider.co.uk
      - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 08:06:03
      That's because I hadn't finished with it and was on the dog...
      It's there now though.
      - la_spice
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 08:08:59
        
        Lucky dog!!!
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        la_spice
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 08:10:54
        
        Ooops - joke!!!
        
        Yes I've now seen it - fancy me getting those words too!
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Show this thread
        
        Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 08:19:12
        
        Yes, how strange...
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
        
        Usksider ^Pro
        
        http://www.usksider.co.uk
        
        Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 08:18:27
        
        Bone, dear.... dog & bone....
        I'm not into animals that way!
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
- happy28 ^Pro
- Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 07:52:14
anything we can do to help hon?
- - Usksider ^Pro
  - http://www.usksider.co.uk
  - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 08:08:22
  You already do more than you know...
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- loiswakeman
- http://lois.co.uk
- Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 10:24:35
I had a relative with depression. For him, he said it was like being at the bottom of a grey pit, with no energy or will to scramble up the sides and see what was going on in the rest of the world.
- - Usksider ^Pro
  - http://www.usksider.co.uk
  - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 17:22:12
  I've used the bottom of the pit simile myself Lois and is pretty accurate. Hope your relative had more luck climbing out the other side than I seem to be having... I think the chains are more me because the weight seems ever present.
  - - loiswakeman
    - http://lois.co.uk
    - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 17:35:52
    He did - though after terrible traumas and several years. We don't know why or how - he seemed almost to grow out of it at about 35. Brain chemistry is a subtle and elusive thing, I think.
    
    I can only begin to imagine how crushing that weight must be. When my Dad was dying, I felt like I had a heavy stone in my chest all the time, and when he was finally released, I could breathe again. My sadness had an obvious cause and was determinate, for which I am very grateful.
    - - Usksider ^Pro
      - http://www.usksider.co.uk
      - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 17:41:54
      I've wondered about the chemical imbalance of it all myself... drugs help of course, but never alleviate the problem completely...
      
      The loss of a family member is always hard to bear....
      - Reply to comment
      - Permalink
- trintrin1x
- Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 11:46:45
I posted a poem called "Rabbie Burns eat ur heart out" a wee while ago. I wrote it years ago when i was depressed, it is hard for someone to explain how they feel and this was how it felt to me, hope u are felling a bit better soon. x
- - Usksider ^Pro
  - http://www.usksider.co.uk
  - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 17:24:44
  I have good days and bad days... recently the good hve outweighed the bad for me I'd say.
  
  I'll have to go in search of your poem...
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- wendlane
- http://www.moondustandangels.co.uk
- Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 14:26:36
Dear Usky -I understand how it feels as many do -I can see the analogy with chains definately -had a bad bout about 2 weeks ago then a happy period and it's hit home again today. It can last for a day, a week, a month or longer, the thing thagt's difficult to love with is not knowing how ling it will last andh have people not understand that it is NOT the same as just being a bit down....I have written a poem about my depression nad it tooks years to write -i would always stgart and it never seemed right so out of the blue about a year ago i just sat up in bed one night and wrote it in one swoop, tweaked it a bit and it sums up my feelings exactly will post it on wildblueyonder -have a read and let me know what you think x
- - Usksider ^Pro
  - http://www.usksider.co.uk
  - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 17:35:57
  That's it exactly isn't it? As I said in a post here recently, it can last just an hour or so, day, a week, a month... that was the last time I tried to top myself, on a couple of month long bout... and people just don't understand... "buck yourself up" or "pull yourself together" really doesn't help at all...
  
  I'll slide along for a peek at your poem.
  - - wendy (Visitor)
    - Wednesday, 30. Apr, 2008 @ 13:31:39
    Goodness my dear friend I certainly hope you don't try and do anything like that to yourself again -you know however bad it gets it WILL pass and life is short anyway isn't it? -how will you enjoy all the beauty in the world if you're not around? No life, no pain..also no joy..no nothing but I do understand absolutely how it feels and the sense of pointlessness is the worst thing, there is a point even when you can't see it. I know how it is also when people just say ridiculous things like, what have you got to be depressed about? Or buck up or snap out of it, well if I could I would woudn't I? Or maybe I just choose to feel that way? Only someone who has not had this illness would say that ...try telling someone with a bad flu bout to snap out of it or buck up! Can't be done - my friend calls it my brain flu, which is a good description
    
    I hope I find you smiling today - blessings to you xx
    
    I am comenting as a visitor as i keep getting logged out again
    - - Usksider ^Pro
      - http://www.usksider.co.uk
      - Wednesday, 30. Apr, 2008 @ 20:43:22
      I'm hoping never to find myself in quite such a dark place again... you just never know though do you?
      - Reply to comment
      - Permalink
- xmillyxxx ^Pro
- Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 15:11:33
Hey hun.
I have suffered with depression on and off for years. Kinda had it under control,until my brothers death.
It brought back all those feelings off despair,worthlessness and isolation.

For me,when i am having 'one off those' days, i could be in a room off 100 people,and //still// feel alone.
you are a strong person, and will overcome it,given time,untill then,
You know where we all are if you need us,take care hun

((hugs)) -x-
- - Usksider ^Pro
  - http://www.usksider.co.uk
  - Tuesday, 29. Apr, 2008 @ 17:38:43
  Thanks Milly...
  
  Horrible when it strikes isn't it?
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- deleted user (Visitor)
- http://menomamauk.blog.co.uk
- Wednesday, 30. Apr, 2008 @ 01:00:20
Depression is black. That's is my opinion. No color anywhere.
- - Usksider ^Pro
  - http://www.usksider.co.uk
  - Wednesday, 30. Apr, 2008 @ 05:44:45
  It certainly can be....
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink