An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar.

The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.

'Y'ken,' said the Scotsman, 'I still prefer the pubs back home. Why, in Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now, the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks, he will buy the 5th drink for you.'

'Well,' said the Englishman, 'at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first two.'

'Ahhh, that's nuttin,' said the Irishman. 'Back home in Dublin there's O'Driscoll's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house.'
'Well,' said the Englishman, 'did this actually happen to you?'

'Not me myself, personally, no,' said the Irishman, 'but it did happen to me sister several times.'

This cartoon made me smile... click to enlarge and view at 100%.

WIFE:
What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND:

Definitely not!

WIFE:

Why not - don't you like being married?

HUSBAND:

Of course I do.

WIFE:

Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND:

Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE:

You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND:

(Makes audible groan).

WIFE:

Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND:

Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE:

Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND:

Where else would we sleep?

WIFE:

Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND:

Probably, it is almost new.

WIFE:

Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND:

That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE:

Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND:

No, she's left-handed.

WIFE:
- silence - -

HUSBAND:
OH F * *k ....

And don't forget to mention my name...

I mentioned in a comment recently the importance of using quality lenses to achieve the best results in digital photography (and analogue photography too if it comes to that). I don't intend going into vast detail here about what to look for when buying lenses for your DSLR, but thought instead I'd make a recommendation for an all-around general purpose workhorse.

Let me start by saying I'm a lover of prime lenses. Prime lenses are fixed at one focal length and do not zoom, so are designed to do a specific job. By comparison primes are more expensive to buy than zoom lenses if only because you have to buy a range to achieve the same focal lengths. The upside of primes is their superior image quality.

When I go out walking about in the countryside I like to have a wide angle lens (20mm), a 'standard' lens (50mm), and a short telephoto (85mm) in my bag. I usually carry a 70-200mm zoom too in case I need to 'get in close'. The weight of my camera body and those four lenses can become quite noticeable after four or five miles and my camera bag is a dead weight on a 20 mile hike... I decided last year to cut down a little.

An excellent alternative to the 20mm wide angle and 50mm standard lenses is Sigma's 18-50mm f/2.8 EX DC lens and I acquired one of these some time ago to use as my 'walkabout' lens.

These days if I go walking up on the hills I tend to just fit this one piece of glass to my camera and leave everything else behind.

The Sigma 18-50mm f/2.8 lens is an autofocus lens optimized for APS-sized digital sensors that provides an extremely useful range with a constant f2.8 maximum aperture ensuring nice bright images.

Despite the lens being AF, I tend to use manual focus much of the time as I feel it gives you slightly more control.

Attractively finished in Sigma's matte-black 'Pro' surfacing, the lens offers ribbed and rubberised zoom and manual-focus rings, and is well-marked with easily legible focusing, zoom, and macro scales. Internal focusing with a non-rotating front element means the lens can't be focused manually in AF mode.

Sigma's guide price for this lens when first announced was in the £300 bracket, but don't be fooled by that; I paid considerably less for mine from a main dealer, so it pays to shop around.

One of the things that makes this lens special for me is the crispness of the images it produces.

The above image was taken close to the 50mm end of the range at f/4 and the size has been reduced to fir nicely on the web. If we crop into the image and look at the actual size of the picture (below), you start to get some idea of the quality produced.

Click both the above for larger versions.

So there you have it... a 'walkabout' lens available in all major DSLR fittings that offers crisp images and superb value for money. I wouldn't be without mine now.

I think maybe I need to cut the grass....

Bog Grass

I don't know, you can't get the staff these days.

Prickly old thing...

The Martian sunk back into the crater, but re-emerged soon afterwards housed inside a gigantic death machine. The death machine quickly disposed of the 7,000 armed soldiers surrounding the crater, then it began marching across the landscape and was soon joined by other Martian machines striding in regimented lines...

Now I'm not much of a supporter of Spanish wines, but I;d like to recommend Era Costana to all you lovers of red biddy...

An oaky background with lots of deep berry flavours... ...yummy!

Yes I know I'm shy and retiring, but that's not quite what I meant... I'm actually retiring on an ill-health basis at the end of the month... I've never not worked... since I was 16... so for the last 40 years all I've ever known is a life of full-time employment... until I went loopy last year of course!

So I'm about to embark on a whole new life...

Am I sad about leaving my employment?
No way!

Have I fought to stay in work?
Not at all.

Do I feel embarrassed by being labelled with as a person with a 'mental health' problem?
Not at all.

Will the label stay with me in the future?
Probably, but I don't care! I know who I am....

Will I seek employment once retired?
Hmm... doubt it.
I may on the other hand look into making something of my own business.

Ho hum... life, eh?

...and came back down a hill too.

Unlike those lucky walkers that went up a Welsh hill and came down a mountain in the story on the BBC Wales news web, your very own Usky went for a walk up a hill yesterday, walked around for a while and then came back down said hill... and thoroughly enjoyed it too.

I have to say I'm suffering a bit this morning, from sore knees and a certain tightness in the muscles of my upper legs and, (dare I say it?) my bum! Hell the exercise must've been good for me though.

I'll post a few images from my excursion later perhaps, but have things I must get on with this morning. Mean time this is where I was...

click for larger version or visit Usky's media for the original

I'm not completely certain, but I believe the vegetables photographed above are Mangold, or mangel-wurzle if you prefer. One of the local farmers grows field upon field of these, which go toward cattle fodder (I think!).

The plant is obviously a member of the beet family from the leaves. The bulbous root is white when the skin is removed.

The mangold-wurzel (or mangel-wurzel) is a member of the family Chenopodiaceae, genus Beta (beets). The beets include the sugar beet (Beta vulgaris altissima), beetroot (Beta vulgaris craca), and Swiss chard (Beta vulgaris flavascens). The mangold-wurzel (Beta vulgaris vulgaris) is a subspecies of the common beet (Beta vulgaris), as are chard (or leaf beet or spinach beet) (Beta vulgaris cicla), and sea beet (Beta vulgaris maritima).

Although intended as cattle feed, the mangold can be surprisingly fit for human consumption if disguised in the following ways:

Mangold Pie

Make some shortcrust pastry (180 g flour, 125 g butter, 3 tbls cold water) and roll it out to cover the bottom of a pie dish. Pre bake for 10 minutes at 200 degrees centigrade, remove from oven. Chop fresh spinach or the green leaves from your mangolds. Peel and crush a clove of garlic. Peel and chop a small onion. Fry the garlic and the onion until soft, remove from the heat and add the chopped spinach or mangold. Turn the onion and spinach mix out into the pie case. Sprinkle some grated
cheese on top of the spinach and onions.

Beat 2 eggs with 200 ml of milk, add salt and pepper to taste and just a pinch of freshly ground nutmeg. Feel free to add a few spoonfuls of cottage cheese, sour cream or crumbled blue cheese to the egg mix. Pour the egg and milk mixture over the onion, spinach and grated cheese. Sprinkle some more grated cheese on top. Bake in the oven for 25-30 minutes at 200 degrees centigrade.

Mangold Tops in Vegetarian Lasagne

Make 2 different sauces to layer alternatively through the lasagne. A red sauce with crushed tomatoes, carrots sliced like matchsticks, fried chopped onion, garlic and fresh basil. A green one with lots of chopped spinach or chopped mangold leaves, in a roux sauce made with milk, flour, butter, salt, pepper and just a hint of nutmeg. Between the layers of sauce and lasagne add grated cheese and/or fresh cheese (ricotta or cottage cheese) and sprinkle grated cheese on top.

Mangold Wine

4 to 5 lb. Mangolds
8 oz. Chopped Sultanas
2 1/2 lb. Sugar
1 gallon Water

Thoroughly scrub, then dice the mangolds and boil until they are tender, strain on to the sugar, chopped sultanas and the fruit rinds. Stir thoroughly and when cool add the fruit juice, the nutrient and the yeast. Ferment and mature in the usual way.

And of course if you get bored with the above, you can always listen to Adge Cutler!

Ripening On The Vine

Seems for some species these beauties may not be so poisonous... but you still won't catch me nibbling on them despite the wonderful array of colours as they ripen.

In their struggle to break the bondage of English rule, the Viet Gwent have been busy recruiting large numbers of freedom fighters.

Never since the days of Owain Glyndwr, a potent figurehead of Welsh nationalism ever since he rose up against the occupying English in the first few years of the fifteenth century, has the south east corner of Wales been so close to escaping English law.

The Viet Gwent are currently waging war against members of the English public foolish enough to stray across the border. Hikers are being kidnapped and day trippers mugged for their packed lunches.

In a statement broadcast on Radio Blaenau, Gruffudd ap Griffith ap Cynan said he was gratified by the levels of English harassment. "No foreign walker is safe in our native hills," he said "but especially at risk are those wearing Cross of St George boxer shorts."

We sent our ace photographer out to track down one of the insurgents and bring back documentary evidence of Viet Gwent activity. He returned with this stark image of a camouflaged warrior with hunger in her eyes.

Baaralamb Ewedd of the Viet Gwent

On holiday in Greece a couple of years ago, I had a close relationship with some of the local wildlife. Here's a little guy who came to visit the bathroom one morning...

Cute ain't he?

He stayed for three or four days, then just vanished...

Woody Nightshade

I wouldn't go picking and eating them though if I were you... ...they may not kill you, but they'll certainly make you rather sick.

Those of us old enough to remember the original Flowerpot Men are sure to remember Bill & Ben's special friend, the smiley faced Little Weed...

I wonder whether the writers ever considered the possibility of weeds as tall as maize plants?

I rather like the splashes of bright yellow between the crops, even if they are a pain for the farmer.

On the other hand, perhaps I'm just peeking in the wrong corners.

...so I thought I'd post am image.

Another day and another sleepless night... okay I have things to do today so had to get up at some stage, but did I need to be wide awake at 2:00am, 3:00am, 4:00am... well, you get the picture.

On the positive side, I've just spent an interesting hour researching prices for some new kit so at least the night hasn't been totally wasted.

So what do you think, are there aliens on the loose at BCUK?

I'm just wondering, since my eye seems to have been proclaimed reptilian...

Perhaps I should change my moniker?

Usky V
(think about it!)

Since you seem to have enjoyed this morning's image so much, here's another panorama of the Welsh Balamory...

Tenby

Good morning Blogland.

I was just passing through having posted one of my weekend teasers and thought I'd stop to dip a toe in the water...

Tenby Harbour Panorama

...but some fool left the plug out!

Hope you're all okay and looking forward to a relaxing weekend.