Young Paddy, moved to Roscommon and bought a Donkey from a farmer for €100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'

Paddy replied, 'Well,then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Paddy said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What are ya gonna do with him?

Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me.. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'

Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two euro's a piece and made a profit of €898.00.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two Euro's back.'

Paddy now works for the Irish Treasury!

Am I blue
Am I blue
Aint these tears, in these eyes telling you...

I'm not blue
How 'bout you?
These are lights in my eyes, just for you...

In an effort to make you all insanely jealous, this is where I spent several days last week in temperatures between 22-26C...

I don't think I counted more than 50 people on this 12 kilometre beach in any one day.

...for a very tall man!

The eve of Samhain, which means Summer's End, a Celtic festival celebrated with bonfires on 1^st November.

We seem to have moved quite a long way from the original festivities... but in Loule, Portugal, they have decorated the streets in preparation for tonight's parade.

I'll bet the kids over there don't throw flour and eggs!

...where Usky's been?

Hello all!

I just dropped in to say I'm back amongst you once again... hope you've all been behaving yourselves while I've been away?

I see there's been yet anther outbreak of spam from the idiot front during my absence... looks as though I have some editing to do along with the catching up!

Take one of these...

Add some of these...

And what have you got?

One of these of course!

At the eastern edge of the village of Portskewett, in a privately owned field opposite Black Rock Road and very near to the Leechpool turn, is evidence of a significant neolithic chambered tomb or long barrow. This is Heston Brake burial site.

Heston Brake is raised artificially on the edge of a dingle and having a seeming elevation very much increased by the natural slopes toward the North-east. This mound has a flat summit and commands a view of the Severn towards Aust; it is covered with a venerable shade of oaks and yew trees. In the centre of the summit is a space about 27ft- long by 9ft, wide, surrounded originally by thirteen rude and upright stones, now time-worn, mossed over, and matted with ivy. One is at the East-end, two at the West, and three remain at each side with spaces for the four which have been removed.

So wrote the Reverend William Bagnall-Oakley MA when he excavated the site in 1888. Although the outlook of the site remains unchanged, with the exception of the two motorway bridges over the River Severn, the wooded land and the thirteen rude and upright stones have obviously changed considerably.

A small group of puddingstones mark the entrance of Heston Brake. Human skeletons, cattle bones and some pottery were discovered in the chambers during excavation.



Heston Brake tomb has two connected chambers. The west chamber, which is horseshoe-shaped contained part of a human skull and other fragments of bone. Human teeth and finger bones, the bones of an ox, and two smooth round stones were discovered in the east chamber.



The west chamber is positioned slightly offset from the passage, suggesting that the passage and east chamber may have been later additions to the west chamber.

Personally I find these places fascinating and having spotted this tumulus from the road I simply had to explore...

If you were driving down a country lane and spotted this, what would you do?

This morning I shall mostly be getting my hair cut....

Well no, not Yahoo at all really... but I do feel like shouting for joy!

BT have upgrading their lines and stuff through our village and for the first time ever I'm actually getting an Internewt connection speed in excess of 4MB!

Poverty... is everyone's problem... so let's do something about it!

We are bombarded these days with advertising campaigns begging us to spare just three pounds a month for this, four pounds a month for that, x pounds a month for something else... but have you ever noticed how many of those campaigns are based on poverty?

The starving children in Africa...
The abusive child labour in Asia...
The animals forced to work until they drop...
The villagers without a fresh drinking water supply...

All of these, and other issues, tug at the heart strings and are worthy causes in the international fight against poverty; it's a good job we're a nation of charitable givers.

But you know there's an old saying that says charity begins at home and sometimes we fail to see the issues right here on our own doorstep. How many of us take note of the number of people we see living rough on our streets for example?

The old notion of the Gentleman of the Road tramping from village to village and sleeping in farm hay-lofts or under hedgerows may be outdated, but the truth is the number of citizens sleeping rough in the UK increases yearly and is a problem that won't go away until we do something about it.

Most larger towns and cities have shelters where the homeless can spend the odd night. While these are undoubtedly welcome facilities and are doing a great job there are never enough places for those in need, meaning someone is always turned away... that's no fault of the shelter of course, but it's simply not good enough.

I don't claim to have the solution to this problem, but I do have the odd idea that might just help...

There's a vicious circle that needs to be broken and it seems to me it wouldn't be too hard break it; I'm referring to the "can't get a job because I don't have an address, can't get an address because I don't have a job" syndrome.

Let me ask you a question; are there any properties standing empty in your area? If there are, how long have they been standing empty?

There are a number of vacant properties in the Newport area, some of which have been empty for years and simply falling into ruin. What a shame then, these properties couldn't be used as part of a shelter or rehabilitation programme.

Properties in Private Ownership

Generally speaking I'm against compulsory purchase, but it makes me cross to see houses like this 1930 semi-detached standing empty year after year and slowly falling apart.

I'm not sure when the house first became vacant, but it has stood empty for at least five years now.

Then there's this rather nice detached property, which has also been left standing empty for some time.

It would seem criminal in many respects if this property were simply allowed to fall into disrepair too wouldn't it? Can nothing be done? Wouldn't it make sense if a property is no longer wanted, or has stood vacant for so many years, that it can be taken over by the state and put to community use via a government assisted compulsory purchase scheme?

Properties in Community Ownership

On the other side of the coin are properties already in public ownership via community or council housing schemes. These properties fall vacant at times too and are often left unoccupied for protracted periods. Without looking too hard I photographed a selection of empty homes on Monday.

This two bedroom ground floor flat has been vacant and boarded up for over 12 months.

This three bedroom house is empty; neighbours told me squatters moved in six months ago.

I've no idea how long this pair of semi-detached properties have stood empty, but the council has boarded the doors and windows and erected a temporary fence around the boundary of both properties.

Why are these homes stood empty when there are so many people living homeless in the Newport area? It makes no sense to me. Nationally there must be hundreds of such empty properties...

Is there a similar situation in your area? Are you aware of, or do you personally know about, dwellings that are long-term vacant?

Make use of the properties by allowing local shelter organisations to utilise them, or perhaps better still allow those homeless who are genuinely seeking employment to rent them at a reduced rate for a limited period to assist them getting a foot on the working ladder.

Join me by writing to your local MP and asking why properties like those listed above are left standing empty when there are organisations for homeless people who would be glad to use them. Or homeless people in need of short-term accommodation to help get them back into accepted society... together we can make a difference!

Put an end to poverty now!

This post is part of Blog Action Day 08 - Poverty

No good calling the RAC up there is it?

It came hurtling home to me yesterday with the subtlety of a flying sledgehammer that Blog Action Day is tomorrow!

I'm in a bit of a flap now because although I have my theme and some images, I haven't even made a start on writing my piece... though I make a start on my research a week or so back...

Oh hell, perhaps I'll continue being bad for BAD and just wing it in the morning!

These are the last few images I was going to post of Caldicot Castle, the venue for Medieval Madness... well I don't want to bore the pants off you folks!

Previously we visited the twin towers and played chess out on the lawn...

Now it's time to continue our way around the curtain wall and back to the main building.

I just thought I'd mention before we leave, Caldicot Castle is still lived in... I don't know the names of the current residents, but they live here in this little house in the corner.

They've got a great view from their window haven't they?

I'll bet the views from the old living quarters were better though... shame we can't go into that part of the castle and see.

It's about time we made tracks I think... especially looking at the weather that's blowing in now...

Come on Usky's party, keep together please...

Now, which one of you jokers has pinched the key? Looks like we might be stuck here for a while... good job we can plenty to eat and drink in the banqueting hall.

Welsh Assembly member Chris Franks said he was "staggered" to read a report that £600,000 worth of library books have been stolen in the Principality in the last two years.

The report found more than 100,000 library books had been stolen or not returned, with losses in Wales' biggest, Cardiff, alone running at £1,000 a week.

Mr Franks wrote to all local authorities to ask for figures from their library services.

Some councils also revealed those authors whose books were most popular with thieves, or which were borrowed and not returned.

Not surprisingly, perhaps, they tallied with best-sellers such as Harry Potter author JK Rowling, Roald Dahl, Terry Pratchett and Jacqueline Wilson.

Missing Library Books

• Bridgend - 2,529
• Caerphilly - 5,719
• Cardiff - 9,762
• Carmarthenshire - 300
• Ceredigion - no numbers, est cost £10-£15,000
• Conwy - 3,177
• Denbighshire - 1,437
• Flintshire - 1.833
• Gwynedd - 2,145
• Neath Port Talbot - 1,881
• Newport - 3,005
• Powys - 3,053
• Rhondda Cynon Taf - 9,828
• Swansea - 10,427
• Torfaen 6,591 (inc 2006-2007 figure)
• Wrexham - 1,644

I guess this just goes to prove Taffy may well be a thief, but he sure as hell ain't illiterate!

...now, where were we? A yes... we were in the Round Tower...

Looking out from the tower top you can also follow the curtain wall to the second intact tower.

Sadly walking along the wall is no longer an option, so we must return to the castle grounds to make our way to the Woodstock Tower.

The primary function of the tower nowadays is education and there are displays and activities aimed at the many children who visit the castle. However until fairly recently the Woodstock Tower could be rented as a dwelling.

I know someone who lived here in the late 1960s and recall one of his endless complaints being about the bathroom. Well let's see if we can identify why that might have been... here's the bathroom.

The eagle eyed among you will note there are no taps with this tub... hot water had to be carried up three floors from the kitchen. How'd you fancy carting buckets of hot water up these stairs? Just imagine how many you'd need to fill that bath!

Maybe it'd be easier to just stand on the roof with a bar of soap when it rains! Do you think the folk in the Round Tower will be perving us?

No radio or TV here either... external aerials were no allowed. Still for entertainment you only had to make your way downstairs and outside...

...where you could play with the giant chess set, as long as it was daylight.

More later.

As promised yesterday I'm going to be posting some images of Caldicot Castle today, the venue for my proposed off-the-wall blog-meet... Medieval Madness.

Long-time visitors to this blog will already have seen images of the Jewel in Monmouthshire's Crown... the main entrance of which looks like this:

Caldicot may well have been fortified and the garrison undoubtedly defended the castle from time to time, but it is not one of those structures that was heavily beaten up. Although the towers at the front corners have sustained substantial damage, two of those at the rear are intact and in fact have been lived in until fairly recently.

Looking at the main entrance we see a row of windows at the first floor level; the banqueting hall is behind these.

From inside the castle grounds, the main residence including the banqueting hall shows traces of its Tudor makeover.

It is generally thought that one Prince Hal was conceived at Caldicot... as an adult Henry VIII returned to the Caldicot area on occasion.

Looking down the left side of the castle we see one of the two in-tact towers. This one is currently as display gallery offering the chance for visitors to see items of furniture and artefacts.

From the top of the tower we get an excellent view back over the castle grounds and Second Severn Crossing in the background.

I'll be posting more images later in the day, so if you are among those interested in the Medieval Madness blog-meet be sure to come back and visit again.

Just having a moment of Usky madness here...

Would anyone out there in Blogland fancy joining Lord Usky for an evening of Medieval Madness?

We could meet in one of the local hostelries and move on to the main event here:

Caldicot Castle

Banqueting Hall

Now as I said this might be a bit of an off-the-wall idea, but if there was enough interest I think it'd be great fun to organise an evening of Medieval Madness courtesy of Caldicot Castle.

I'm thinking along the lines of sometime in the New Year... you generally need to book a couple of months in advance depending upon the size of the party and a quick look seems to indicate dates are available in January/February/March.

Interested individuals would need to allow for an overnight stay to make the most of the experience, so I'd suggest looking at a weekend booking. A medieval banquet menu is available from the organisers.

What do you guys think?

A show of hands would be good at this stage... if there's enough interest I'll seek firm prices for possible dates.

I set a small poser for fellow bloggers last night asking you to identify an old cannon... my chum Happy came up with the goods, so big congratulations to her.

Here's a little about the history of this old beast...

HMS Foudroyant

The name is French for “thunder and lightning” and came from a captured French battleship in a single-ship action in 1758 by HMS Monmouth. She remained in the RN’s possession until broken up in 1787.

The second HMS Foudroyant was built and launched in Plymouth in 1798, as a second rate line of battle ship with 80 guns (Foudroyant's gun complement was variable throughout her career). Designed by Sir John Henslow (Surveyor of the Royal Navy) using the old French ship's design. Measurements were 2062 tons, 184ftx 51ft. Usual armament included 30 32pdrs, 32 24pdrs, 14 12pdrs and 12 carronades.

The cannon seen above is a 12pdr from the second HMS Foudroyant and would originally have looked like this in shipboard life.

Active Service

In her first commission, the second Foudroyant took part in Warren’s action off Donegal on 12 October 1798.

She became Nelson’s flagship in the Mediterranean in 1799-1800, and took part in the recapture of Naples from the French, the recapture of Malta and the taking of several French vessels.

In 1801, after a refit, she was Admiral Lord Keith’s flagship in the Egyptian campaign.

In 1803, she joined the Channel fleet after an extensive refit at Plymouth.

In 1808 she was Admiral Sir Sydney Smith’s flagship for his expedition to South America.

Foudroyant was finally paid off in Plymouth on November 30th 1812 and remained in harbour service.

Restoration, wrecks & relics

In 1862, Foudroyant was converted to a training ship and served the Plymouth gunnery school, HMS Cambridge. In 1892, she was sold for breaking up to a German firm.

Because of her association with Nelson, there was a public outcry including a Punch cartoon by Linley Sambourne. She was purchased by George Wheatley Cobb for twenty thousand pounds (his own expense) with a view for display at various ports and a sail training ship.

Foudroyant was wrecked at Blackpool in a gale on 16 June 1897. The salvage terms that the company involved received two thousand pounds only if they re-floated her. If they failed, they could buy the wreck for ten pounds.

The ship was deemed unsalvageable and the company recovered some of their expenses by making souvenirs from the timber and copper and selling them. Hundreds of different varieties were sold, including medallions, coins, items of furniture and walking sticks.

Just to get you in the right mood for my weekend teaser...

Here's a picture of a cannon...

Now this isn't any old cannon... oh no, it's a very special cannon with a very special history.

The cannon is currently situated in a castle described by yours truly as the Jewel in Monmouthshire's Crown...

Find the location f the castle and you should be able to find some information about the cannon.

Now, what I want to know is...

1. Where did the cannon come from?

2. How did it end up in its present location?

Have fun...

Now don't go getting too excited you lot, I'm only offering you peek at a nice view...

(click for big)

Well I think it's an interesting view anyway...... what's your opinion?

In reference to my last post and in an effort to even up both sides, I feel the need to point out the fact no man is an island... nor is any woman.

I wish I'd understood this all those years ago when I was striving to keep my emotions bottled up inside me...

In a crowded place I felt alone
And never knew quite why
I could not reach for others
No matter how I tried.

My life was one of solitude
Enclosed within a ring
Of self constructed battlements
Where no-one heard me sing.

If only I had realised
The folly of my ways
How sad a way for any man
To spend his lonely days...

A winters day
In a deep and dark december;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Ive built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Dont talk of love,
But Ive heard the words before;
Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Words by Paul Simon

Hello workers, it's Wednesday and that means it's HUMP day... or as I prefer to think of it, Wicked Wednesday!

No idea what the weather's doing today since it's still dark outside my window, but the forecast says we're in for a bright and sunny day down here in God's Own Country... well I certainly hope they're right because I fancy getting outside and sampling some sweet fresh air.

Eglwys Common

I won't be walking up here today, it's too much of a climb to get to the top and my knee still isn't right, but I may drive onto one of the other local hills for a bit of a wander.

What about you folks? What are your plans for the day?

Geordie band Lindisfarne may have made large amounts of cash out of a foggy Tyne, but for some reason whenever I'm in that neck of the woods the sun shines... or it pours with rain... or snows... but I've never seen fog on the Tyne.

The Lighthouses - North Shields

Mouth of the Tyne from North Shields

Looks miserable outside my window this morning... but there's coffee freshly brewed so if anyone fancies joining me for a cup of hot black Joe, just pop along... and bring your own mug please, 'cos Spicy's pinched most of mine!

Whisky - The Water Of Life

“Usquebaugh” is a Gaelic word and is pronounced “Usky” it means “water of life”.

This Usky became widely known for the seemingly wonderful effects it had on human minds and was christened the world over as ‘whisky’. Many people mistakenly refer to Whisky as “Scotch”, however, Scotland has taken out an international patent on the name “Scotch” and so any Whisky that is not made in Scotland cannot be called Scotch. The fact of the matter is that no matter how good a whisky is, and some very good whiskies are brewed in a few countries, and surprisingly Japan is one of the best places where the best whiskies are distilled, but they cannot, just cannot, get the original taste of Scotch. What is the secret that the Scots put behind the brewing of their whiskies? Many experts believe it is in the soil where the Barley is cultivated.

It is believed that whisky was first brewed in the monasteries of Ireland and caught the fancy of people in countries where grapes, the original fruit used to make wines, were not easily procured. Though whisky was originally used for medicinal purposes the intoxicating effect soon found favour among many people world wide.

In the early 1500’s when the monasteries were being closed and the monks were driven from their shelters they had no choice but to put their knowledge of distilling alcohol to use. It was perhaps for the better because the process of distilling whisky at the time was unscientific and very dangerous too. The monks perfected the process of making whisky and gifted the world with one of its most popular brews – arguably only second to tea.

It was in the 17th century that the Scottish Parliament decided to tax and control the breweries – they taxed malt and it’s end products this gave rise to bootlegging, the smuggling of alcohol, something rampant event to this day. Like the first breweries were the monks, the first bootleggers were also monks – smuggling the stuff around in coffins – but can we blame them!?!

So now you know... your old mate Usky is really the water of life...

Now, who's for a drink?

...for ducks!

Five in the morning
The rain is pouring
The garden is flooded and wet
Worst of it all
Is the outdoor stall
At the house where I lived as a kid!

G'night all!
Time for us old farts to get some shut-eye.

The old Town Hall and Civic Chambers in Stow on the Wold.

It obviously looks better in sunshine than shade on a cloudy day though...

There are times when I wish I could turn the clock back... architecturally that is.

...a view like this from your window?

English Landscape

There's something very beautiful about British landscapes, even when the weather is not at its best.
(click image for big)

I really can't understand those people who say retirement is boring... I don't think I've ever been so busy!

Apologies all for not having been around much in Blog... no excuses really, I* just seem to have had so many other things to do.

As many of you know, I have a thing a natural patterns... the patina of rusted iron... tree bark... the textures and striations in rock... all these things and more fascinate me.

But I'm also drawn to natural framing when it occurs... so when I spotted this, I simply had to investigate.

This church is in Stow on the Wold and I was attracted by the yew trees at the left edge... so I made my way around for a look-see.

Rounding the corner I was really pleased to see the way the two yew framed the church door... could this be one massive tree with a doorway cut into it?

Moving in closer it was easy to see the trees were separate, but between them they framed the doorway perfectly... I really love the way this sort of thing happens.

In case anyone missed it...

I officially retired yesterday!

Ain't I lucky?

So today is the first day of the rest of my life... long may it continue!

Well friends it's been a busy few days... well, a busy week to be more accurate.

Last Thursday I nipped over the border to see the wonderful Milly... I'd agreed to do a photo-shoot for her, so of course I packed those essential bits and bobs into my car and shot off at 9:00am to spend a few hours in her excellent company.

The shoot went well enough and I'd a whole bunch of images ready to be processed by the time I headed back to God's own country.

Most of Friday seemed to be spent travelling... UK motorways and drivers being what they are, we faced more than our usual share of hold-ups on our journey north.

The reason behind the journey was a family wedding in North Shields on Saturday, which to be honest I hadn't been looking forward to... lots of people would be present, many of whom I didn't know, which of course unnerved me. So feeling a bit twitchy on the Saturday morning I thought I'd take the family dog, a husky, for an early morning walk...

Have you ever tried walking a husky? Believe me, when they decide they want run after something you need all your strength just to hold on! So anyway, when said dog decided to take a short-cut down some steps I didn't have much choice but to follow... sadly, my feet and legs seemed to be somewhere behind the rest of me!

The result of the dog walk was a twisted knee and the odd bruise... walking was somewhat difficult... I borrowed an aid... and spent most of the weekend holding my crutch tight - watch it Jack!

Despite my incapacity, I did another sterling job with the camera and took loads of images of the happy couple and their big day.

So, ignoring Sunday's return journey I've spent the last few days hobbling about and editing pictures... what do you mean you don't believe me?

You want proof?

Well I can't show you the wedding photos... that would be unethical... I can show you this though... since I've already sought Milly's permission.

Beautiful Lady

Guess who's back among you??

Did you miss me?